"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment."- Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book hands down. Every lesson you could possibly need in life is contained within its glorious pages. It is funny because when I was younger I used to relate to the traditional nature of the book, but when I grew up and I read the book for the hundredth time I related with the rebellious nature of the book.
When I was dating I would never call the guy or make any type of move, I expected them to do so. I wanted to fall in love but I also believed that love had to be earned. I did not have a very good example of love growing up; my parents were not the picture perfect couple. In fact I believe that they were never in love, they were together out of duty. So I had a very jaded opinion of love at first sight and staying together forever, yet I was a dreamer and though I didn’t truly believe in it I wanted it. Just like all the multitudes of women out there I wanted something I didn’t believe I could obtain. I hated public displays of affection, and I actually still do. No one wants to see that it is so fake to me. And just so you know no one believes you because you are a bad actor, you know you are. Moving on.
So out of all this bitterness mixed with a little bit of a dreamer came a young Hope in search for love which she didn’t believe in. Enter Lance (my husband), a very charming but extremely cocky guy. I had met Lance a year prior when I was dating his friend; I was dating that friend again so Lance came with that package. I don’t know if I had changed or if he wasn’t as cocky but he intrigued me instead of repulsing me. When I say repulsing it wasn’t his appearance because he was dreamy from the beginning but his cockiness made him unattractive to me the first time I met him.
We had developed a friendship through me dating his friend. One night we were with a group of people hanging out, his friend and I had fizzled, so Lance was a little closer to me than usual. He and his friend were talking about unicorns and I was completely confused so I asked Lance, “What are you talking about?” He said, “Have you ever watched the movie Gone in 60’s Seconds?” I said, “Sure.” “Well he is always chasing after the Shelby Mustang that is his ungetable get,” “Well you are my unicorn, the one girl that I want and can’t get.” Now I know as well as anyone reading this that this was a pick up line and now that I know my husband as well as I do I am sure this was his way of trying to get into my pants, but that shit was good. Best pick up line ever! That was his Mr. Darcy moment.
I froze, speechless. Then he smirked and got up to go get a drink. In that moment I knew we had started something and if love at first sight does exist I guess that was our moment but it took both him and I over a year to concede to it. We were both stubborn, and scared of love. Commitment terrified us both, neither one of us thought that we would find our center point in one another at such a young age. True love, so far.
That speaks to my semi traditional nature.
Not many people that know me would call me rebellious, because really I am not, but I have my moments.
When I was in 7th grade my parents discovered God again after years of being off the wagon and in a drunken stupor. In about 5 seconds flat they had went directly from sinner to saints. They removed any “ungodly” influences or possessions from our house. My dad even got rid of any movie above a PG rating. It was absolutely nuts now that I look back at it but at the time it was a beautiful thing to be removed from the life we were living prior to that so I loved it. The church family that was so kind and supportive (as long as you were following the rules AKA bible rules), heck yes I was for it. So I went my whole junior high and high school years a very active part of the church, mostly on my own will but partly because it was the only thing my parents allowed me to do.
When I graduated and moved out into the great big bad world my thinking changed. I opened my mind, read a lot, and started to form my own opinion on things; this was not something that my father liked. I started to disagree with him and make choices he did not agree with, mainly my choice in boyfriend, Lance. He did not dislike him as a person but he didn’t want me to be involved with him because he went to a church that my father called cult. It was completely ridiculous, it was not a cult. My father began to spy on me, once he came by my apartment at 3am claiming he was bringing me donuts for breakfast and then he threw the donuts all over my car and Lance’s truck when he saw that Lance had spent the night. Long story short we did not agree and had a huge fight about it. I told him off and picked Lance, my father and I did not talk for over 6 months. Once we began to talk again he refused to come to our home and did not allow Lance to come to theirs until Lance and I were married. Rebellion at its best I would say.
No propriety here, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.Darcy would not approve.
n pl -ties
1. the quality or state of being appropriate or fitting
2. conformity to the prevailing standard of behaviour, speech, etc.
3. (plural)
the proprieties the standards of behaviour considered correct by polite society
